About Therapy with Me
Relationships are my Specialty.
I help individuals and couples grappling with relationship distress, marriage crises, infidelity, toxic and dysfunctional relationship patterns, miscommunication, and trust issues in their relationship.
Work Together as an Individual.
I want to help you achieve your goals, find yourself again, and grow the courage to leave, to end, to take a risk, to pursue, to put your foot down, to say no, to call people out, to hold yourself accountable, to protect yourself, to self-regulate difficult emotions, to be kind and fair and reasonable to yourself, and to feel better.
Work Together as a Couple.
Relationship/Marriage is a system, and both partners co-create all the dynamics in this system, even when you are silent. I hold both of you accountable for the dynamic you co-create and invite you to take responsibility for your part of the contribution.
This approach is essential for our foundation of work together because neither of you should be blamed and expected to be fully responsible for the whole relationship not going well. But you need to own your part in it, and I will help you and your partner change.
I always ensure you and your partner feel equally heard, understood, and secure about my attunement with you. If you feel I do not understand you precisely, I encourage and welcome immediate feedback to help me become attuned to you the way you want.
Challenges will Arise.
Difficult conversations happen in our journey together – this is what you are here for. With my interventions and facilitation, I make sure our session does not turn into a place for you to repeat reactive attacks or defenses, like those bad fights you had at home.
Having an intense or painful session does not mean therapy is not helpful or you are getting worse. Sometimes, these sessions are the foundation of movement and progress because we call out the invisible “elephant in the room” into the open and make unspoken messages clear.
As you become more honest and transparent with each other, more empathetic and attuned with your partner, or begin to feel how much you hurt each other and take responsibility for your part, the intensity in the room increases – these are often signs of progress!
Doing the Work is Worth it.
Through our work together, you will feel closer to your partner.
No longer driven by emotional reactivity and defensiveness, you begin to understand unmet attachment needs and things you need from your partner – and what your partner needs from you to feel safe and connected.
This healing allows you to work through your trust issues, experience better communication, and work together to rebuild the relationship you both want.
About Me
Who am I, and Why Me?
Several things about me combine to make me the unique person who can understand your struggles and pain.
My background as an immigrant, being born and raised in Asia, going through acculturative and racial stress, growing up in a family with intergenerational patterns of infidelity, went through a divorce many years ago, currently in my second marriage (an inter-racial marriage) for more than a decade, speaking multiple languages, self-identifying as a bi-sexual woman of color, embracing my spirituality, and being authentic, affectionate, warm, direct, and perceptive make me a sensitive, open-minded and confident human being.
Professionally, I hold two active licenses in California – I am a Licensed Psychologist and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I have been a licensed therapist since 2011. I completed my doctoral degree at the California School of Professional Psychology (CSPP), the APA Accredited Clinical Psychology program, and my master’s degree at the University of Southern California (USC). I worked as a psychologist at UC Santa Barbara and UC San Diego before gradually transitioning to private practice.
I provide psychotherapy in English and Mandarin. Most clients do telehealth with me, although I have an office in Del Mar, San Diego. I am also a Certified Group Psychotherapist. Read more about group therapy.
My Life Outside of Therapy is Eventful.
Every year, I visit Japan, specifically Kumano Kodo and Koyasan – my spiritual homes. I usually hike the Pilgrim trails, live in a Shingon Buddhist temple, and practice mindfulness meditation.
In my daily life, I enjoy doing Pilates a few times a week, taking Japanese classes, and spending time with my family and my two cats – Cashew and Miso.
